I was trying to make a case for mango being the most romantic fruit of all time.
Hey my wee bruhhhs,
Mango might be the most romantic fruit of all. Correction — Mangoes are the most romantic and erotic fruit there is. If you have ever been in an intimate moment or shared a wildly close time with your partner/girlfriend/lodger etc., there’ll come a period where almost all moments lead to a wild wiiiiild ride.
If not! then probably it is time to call it quits!
The idea of food leading to fornication is not a new one. Only about two generations ago, our people would do either of the 2 things — fuck or farm. So if it was around monsoons they would pack their boxes and go to the field; if it was the winters, they’d eat and gain all this energy, only to expend it in the only recreation they knew (no TVs back then) — just a fuck-factory in a shitstorm.
No wonder most people have birthdays in July and August. Europeans might have us thinking that the fruit of passion is — the passion fruit or the strawberry — absolute bollocks. Mangoes — is the right answer. Why are Bihar and UP the most populated states in this Godforsaken place? — fucking mangoes.
The entire activity of eating a mango should be cataloged in a couple’s therapy books, or any modern-day sex guide.
A
Sex is messy. So are mangoes. Starting from the slicing of the fruit where you carefully go around seed edges to evenly distribute pulp across the three parts, you bring her in. Further, cutting the two large slices shows that both of you together are sharing this fruit of heat, sweat, and labor. You want the sweet, slobbery juice for yourself, you’ve waited the entire season and year for this perfect plant meat and yet you want to lick it off together, like a couple of honeybees finding their private flower. And then when you finally slice the mango open, you offer her the first piece. With the nectar dripping off from your fingers, your eyes meet & you exchange pieces. Your hands are messy and sticky, but you don’t care. Then you get to it — eating the pulp! which isn’t an abrupt act either. You first sniff the edges, then lick over a small patch like you want the mango to say something. The aroma kicks in, that little smudge of fibrous pulp that you just had — is just a trailer. Now you viciously want to dig your teeth in and scoop a chunk. You take that first look at your partner & you just know, you’ve hit GOLD, MANGOLD!
Then you exchange the half-bit piece with each other and as you are doing it, just wipe that sugar strand from her lips only to make it messier, and before you know it, this becomes a competition, as she will try to return the favor in full fervor.
Your hands and your chins and your cheeks are now all sullied in the sultry heat but you don’t care. You don’t care about the wet, you don’t care about the sugar, in fact, you want more — way more. You finish your piece and try to throw her attention off to steal her slice, and she won’t like it at first. But then you gently place it in, in between wet lips, she knows she wants all of it, all at once. You don’t let her! Instead, you pull the piece out right when she thinks she has it full!
The best part is most definitely the seed or if the reader isn’t too gentrified — “GUTHLI”. You thinly peel the guthli off. You don’t even need to argue or agree, that you will take turns while sloppily slobbering over it. Before you start you both hold the Guthli together, like it’s your tiny golden secret. Now the hands are messy like your feet on the beach. However, again, you don’t care, you can’t care because she starts eating that piece, and by GOD, she knows how to wrap her mouth around the KING. She looks at you with her big busty eyes while she does it, and in that moment you forget, you forget about your tacit agreement. You just wanna watch her get messy and become the Mangodess she is, putting all her MANgodlyForce into sucking and slurping every last drop of life from the piece that MANGOD gifted you. And you let her have it all!
Just when she thinks that you are all done — you say — “Aam again?”
Have lots of sex y’all