Addiction

A small poem I wrote — addiction is real!

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

I must go cold,

There’s no other way,

I mean I am ruining everything,

I have ruined it all from the moment I remember ruining it and falling,

And can’t seem to remember anything else at all,

I am twisting and I am trying,

Can’t I see, can’t I see?

I think I do and then I unsee

I clench my teeth and gulp nothing,

How much more? How many times?

I come back, I come again!

I decided last night, not again not again?

Then why do I come back? Am I insane?

I am so blessed, I am so loved,

I am so pained, I might not take it anymore,

Don’t love me please,

Don’t think of me please,

When you do, what you do

Makes me do, what I think you’d have me do

Knowing how I do what I do,

I know I won’t be able to.

Can someone just teach me?

Can someone just tell me?