Please read the chapters in order starting from Drowning — Chapter 0
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
“Not funny at all, ANISH.”
And then he hugged me, much like the 2 lads from earlier!
I didn’t begrudge this hug. I suppose this event warranted some hugs and tears. And then I patted him on the back, to say “Thank you & it’s okay, you can rest”
I couldn’t listen to much else. The sun beds were unoccupied, barring a few crows who had taken shelter to scavenge from our plates. There was no sign of Varun. Almost the entire crowd was staring at me by now. I was slowly strutting back to my spot. I felt embarrassed. It felt like a walk of shame. “This is what Cersei must have felt like”, I thought to myself. The relief of Varuns survival had quickly been replaced by my realization of the situation. I had been helpless. I had been hopeless. I had been cocky. I couldn’t put myself to good use when it came to saving my friend. The idea that I had to cry for help and be vulnerable in the entire public view was stinking and repulsive.
I went straight to bed & lit a cigarette. I had blurred my vision by now. A cigarette and a moderately cool can of tonic water, now that’s what I call therapy — for I didn’t feel shocked or traumatized as much as I felt disappointed in myself.
I looked around and funnily enough, found Jesus. He was preaching to me about the dangerous travails of Morjim on a full moon night. Apparently, he had left the clingy beach when he felt a small tug. Low tides are stronger on full moons, he mentioned — it’s basic physics, and yet felt like immense words of wisdom at that moment.
I completed some formalities afterward. These included filling out the rescue form that the lifeguards gave me & confirming that I was medically fit and sound to move around. These go into their performance appraisals. I was obviously grateful to the lifeguards. My earlier whinging ultimately came back to bite me in the ass.
Varun on the other hand had swallowed boatloads. I caught him trying to shake off a headache. He was trying to puke the salt out in the washroom. This was no time for jokes, as I saw a friend genuinely scared off his wits. The lifeguards explained to us, that Varun should ideally be taken for a routine checkup, just to allay common fears.
I decided to drive away as soon as possible, not because of any trauma but because of the embarrassment. Our car seemed like a safe greenhouse for my dejected thoughts and feelings. I was no longer sure about my ability to deliver on important occasions. Varun seemed quieter after having barfed his balls off.
We found a clinic on our way back. It was a small routine physician’s private practice. Schools, hospitals, clinics & doctors — while normal in other parts of the country just seem so foreign in Goa. I decided to accompany Varun to the doctor, as both a friend and a curious person.
The doctor without even taking another look, declared Varun to be alright. Varun wasn’t content, however! The hypochondriac that he is — he earnestly asked the doctor to check his blood pressure!
When that did not transpire, he did something I had only seen happen in films. He turned around, took his trousers down and coughed, while asking the doctor — “Is there any more water coming out?”